Blessed Are The CheeseMakers

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My next project is to write a bit of fun and nonsense about wine and cheese. My darling husband's brie will be ripe soon and I think a musical work is called for.

I've finished the libretto - so that's today's offering. I might start on the choruses so we'll see what we can get to you by next week.

Cast
Cheesemaker
Wine Pairer
Judge Most Imperious
Fruity Merlot
Chardonnay
Champagne
Bright Spark #1
Bright Spark #2
Bright Spark #3

 

COMPANY
Cheesemaker. Cheesemaker. Cheesemaker. Cheesemaker.
Let us see, let us see. How did you make brie?

CHEESEMAKER
Curds in a mold. Stored in the cold.
Til they went crusty. Til they went musty.

COMPANY
Curds in a mold. Stored in the cold.
Til they went crusty. Til they went musty.

CHEESEMAKER
The cheese is complete. And ready to eat.
Gooey, superb, and ready to serve.

COMPANY
Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum Give us some. Give us some. Give -  us - some.
Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum Give us some. Give us some. Give - us - some.

WINE PAIRER
Proceedings must cease. Do not eat the bries
Are you barbaric or just puritanic?
You have no pairing, no flavour matched sharing.
I insist and decree, before you eat brie
You must first secure a sore grape liquor:
A complement fine of mellifluous wine.

COMPANY
Most agreed. We concede. We adhere,

WINE PAIRER
Now draw near!
Your task is most onerous. Your burden is great.
To find wine harmonious, to find brie’s true mate.

COMPANY
Our task is most onerous. Our burden is great
To find wine harmonious, to find brie’s true mate.

CHEESEMAKER
This is more cultured than milk in a vat.

WINE PAIRER
A judge most imperious will sure help with that.

COMPANY
This is more cultured than milk in a vat.
A judge most imperious will sure help with that.

JUDGE MOST IMPERIOUS
I can indeed arbitrate all things good and fine
I will now administrate selecting of wine.
Bring forth the candidates. Come here! Form a line.
Then I can speculate which one truly shines.
First Candidate. Put forward your case.

FRUITY MERLOT
I’m fruity merlot, with spice you can savour
I’m plump and full bodied, with soft flirty flavour.

COMPANY
She sounds divine. Merlot is our wine.
Merlot it must be, to drink with our brie.

JUDGE MOST IMPERIOUS
It seems the vox populi speaks with one voice.
So I must align with the people’s first choice.
My ruling is merlot!

BRIGHT SPARK #1
We can’t decide yet.
Let her sit furlough, while others we vet.

COMPANY
Don’t drink the merlot! We can’t decide yet.
Let her sit furlough, while others we vet.

JUDGE MOST IMPERIOUS
Ah yes well. Harrumph harrumph harrumph
Second candidate. Come forth and explain.

CHARDONNAY
I’m a white Chardonnay. All peaches and cream
And nuanced oak tones, a splendid brie team.

COMPANY
She sounds quite perfect but so does Merlot
Oh such wine conflict! We simply don’t know.

BRIGHT SPARK #2
Reject the dichotomy. We still have an option three.

JUDGE MOST IMPERIOUS
Indeed and well said. Third candidate. Step forth and speak out.

CHAMPAGNE
I’m filled up with bubbles and giggles and fun.
I’m the life of the party, you know I’m the one.

COMPANY
We do like to party with bubbly fun wine.
But Merlot’s so arty and Chardonnay’s fine.
Now our heads hurt and our spirits are low.
We’re dumb and inert cause we simply don’t know.

JUDGE MOST IMPERIOUS
What a disaster. What a cruel fate.
Without a clear winner I must legislate:
Leave us cheese master. Remove the cheese plate.
There’ll be no more laughter. I’ve cancelled this date.

COMPANY
What a disaster. What a cruel fate.
Without a clear winner he must legislate:
Leave us cheese master. Remove the cheese plate.
There’ll be no more laughter. He’s cancelled this date.

BRIGHT SPARK #3
May I interject? May I intercede?
I’ve found, I suspect, a way to get bried.
If you can’t choose one wine to pair with this brie,
The problem is simple, why not drink all three?

COMPANY
If we can’t choose one wine to pair with this brie
The problem is simple, why not drink all three?
With joy we’re delirious. But judge most imperious
What do you think of this triple paired drink?

JUDGE MOST IMPERIOUS
Reject the monotony of wine/brie monogamy.
Refuse the dyadic. Drink wine in triadic.
My judgement is final. My judgement is clear.
The best wine with brie, is all of them here.

COMPANY
Reject the monotony of wine/brie monogamy.
Refuse the dyadic. Drink wine in triadic.
His judgement is final. His judgement is clear.
The best wine with brie, is all of them here.

CHEESEMAKER
Yar yar yar yar

WINE PAIRER
The best wine with brie Is all of them here.

THE THREE WINES
The best wine with brie is all of us here.

COMPANY
The best wine with brie is all of them here.
Good night and good cheer.